Note: I did not write this but I loved it so much that I asked to borrow it from the author and she agreed. This was written by: Rae Harvey

Every so often, newcomers crop up who are so enamored with BDSM, so sure of their commitment to give their Owner everything, that they label themselves as having “no limits.” Before you decide to tell someone you have “no limits,” I want to offer some examples of various recognized kinks, fetishes and extreme sexual practices that you are giving tacit consent to engaging in when you state you have “no limits.”

* Beastiality/Zoophilia
* Coprophilia
* Emetophilia
* Necrophilia
* Formicophilia
* 2 Girls 1 Cup
* Acrotomophilia coupled with Apotemnophilia and wanting you to accommodate them.
* Avisodomy
* Vorarephilia – gives “I want to eat you” a whole new meaning.
* Symphorophilia
* Asphyxiophilia
* Erotophonophilia
* Branding
* Meatotomy
* Sexual Castration
* Any manner of body modifications
* Ophidicism

In other words, you are agreeing to subject yourself to anything on this list and all sorts of things you can’t even dream up yet. And I say “yet,” because invariably, those who claim to have “no limits” are brand spanking new s-types who are still caught up in the fantasy of Story of O, The Beauty Series, The Marketplace Series, Topping From Below and similar books – and really have no idea the depths to which some will stoop in pursuit of sexual gratification.

People do these things, all these things and more, in a sexual context all the time. And anyone who claims to have “no limits” is giving tacit agreement to all of them – amputating a limb for someone else’s pleasure, splitting their penis in two for someone else’s pleasure, even being murdered (snuff) for someone else’s pleasure. You’re saying you will happily let someone sit on your face and fart their little butts off, fill your mouth with their waste, subject yourself to gang bangs and glory holes, even prostitute yourself at their behest. You’re willing to be castrated, or alternatively to have your clit removed. You’re offering up your body in every way, shape and form for their pleasure – no matter the damage it does to you.

You do not expect ANY safety precautions to be taken, you don’t expect anesthesia, you don’t expect after care. You will agree to any medically dangerous practice, no matter how extreme, and expect nothing in return for your obedience.

You are agreeing to be dropped in an Oubliette somewhere, or locked up in a cage, only to be taken out for use. You do not expect to be fed, given medical attention, or ever permitted to be set free. You are agreeing to be used in whatever way someone else desires – and place no restrictions on how you are treated, what you are given, what is done to you or for you. You expect nothing in return for any of this, for allowing yourself to be used that way. You place absolutely no conditions on your relationship – you expect nothing, not monogamy, love, affection, attention, food, water, clothing, shelter, rewards, use of the internet, contact with family/friends, medical care, dental care. You are willing to give yourself to someone and receive literally nothing in return.

You are also agreeing to be ignored, or to have literally nothing done to you. Even to being completely vanilla again. Because no limits means doing anything and everything asked of you, without hesitation, without condition, without restriction.

This is what you are agreeing to when you claim to have “no limits.” If, after reading this thread, you still claim to have “no limits,” and feel comfortable agreeing to every single thing here, and anything else a mind can think up, please drop me a line with your name, address, phone number and a way to reach your next of kin.

And then print out a copy of this thread, go check yourself into the nearest psychiatric facility and hand them the print out while explaining that you are perfectly willing to subject yourself to all of this. Perhaps they’ll use shock therapy on you – you might enjoy that.

Disclaimer: Having “no limits” is not the same thing as having your Owner’s limits – that’s an entirely different discussion.

I absolutely recognize that my tone in this thread is a bit sharp, that this is not phrased in a friendly, conciliatory manner, that I probably sound mean, rude and arrogant. To 99% of you who will read this, I apologize. You are not the target audience.

I am desperately trying to reach that 1% who bleats to the masses that they have “no limits,” and then are shocked and surprised when they hook up with an individual who fully intends to exploit their naivete. There are predators in the world who use sites like this as a gateway to find young, impressionable men and women who they can exploit under the guise of BDSM and kink. This is Fetlife, not BDSMlife. It is a gathering place for people with fetishes, all sorts of fetishes, whether they fall specifically under the “typical” BDSM umbrella or not. People who are into the things I’ve mentioned in this thread are out there, they are members of sites like this, and they are waiting to get their hands on some “no limits” newbie who realizes too late, after they’re all tied up and alone with this person, that they did in fact have limits after all.

Only no one is going to be around to hear them scream.

I intend for this to be both harsh and dramatic – because I am hoping that doing so will make a few newcomers think twice about what they are potentially agreeing to when encountering other people with fetishes.

Please don’t tell people you have “no limits.” Everyone has limits, everyone has things they will not tolerate in a relationship – even if it’s nothing more than not being willing to tolerate being ignored for the rest of their life. If you would leave the relationship if your Owner never touched you, talked to you, held you, topped you, did anything to you or gave any thing to you – then you have a limit. Even if that’s the only one you think you have.

You can’t be everything to everyone. This statement cannot be more true. Some people will love you, others will hate you. Yet, others will try to mold you into what they want instead of letting you just be you. If you aren’t yourself, then who are you?

I think many adults struggle with this in personal relationships and so do adult entertainers when they first start out in the business. Not all of them but I’m betting quite a few. You can lose yourself while trying to be someone else, you forget who you are.

Have you considered that the reason for their dislike of you or certain qualities you have has NOTHING to do with you?

“Stay true to yourself” is the best advice I have ever been given. I do what is right for me. It may not be right for everyone, people may not agree with it but if I cared what people think then I wouldn’t be an adult entertainer. Some people’s opinions really do matter to me but my own opinion of myself is what matters the most. I love myself, what I do for a living and I won’t apologize for it and neither should any other entertainer.

I got an email one day telling me that he didn’t buy the whole “happy with myself act” Well, sorry hon, it isn’t an act. Now there is an example of someone not happy with themselves and having to project it onto someone else.

“Life sucks but at least I’m not…(Fill in the blank)” Oh yeah, someone has some issues. Maybe they weren’t hugged enough as a child?

Just letting my mind wander onto the computer screen…

Life can be complicated and so can relationships. Fortunately, there is an uncomplicated way to have the intimacy of a relationship without the complications that come with it. Seeing an escort is a very simple way to fill a need without having a half dozen of the problems that come with getting involved in a relationship.

Now, don’t get me wrong, there is a relationship between the client and escort, its just defined under terms agreed upon by both parties when they decide to meet. Its defined that there will be no great love affair, or dating to see if you are both compatible for marriage(although some don’t get that) since you only really are going to see the lady for an hour up to a few days. You aren’t going to marry her, be her boyfriend, or her best friend. Its a fling, a casual encounter, moments in bliss, but keep things in perspective.

There seems to be a common misconception that escorts are single and available to date outside of the parameters of the escort arrangement. Many are not. Many have an SO(significant other), a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, or spouse already. Its no one’s business just like your personal life if your business. Others still are just not interested in becoming involved, or want a boyfriend. She might really like you,l but she doesn’t want any more than the escort/client agreement, no matter how much you “Click” or “meld” or have in common. Most times the suggestion of dating or seeing a client outside of an arrangement will just make her uncomfortable and out her in a bad spot. She doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or lead you on but its not what she wants. There are many clients I have not seen again due to this.

Sooner or later all escorts encounter clients that don’t seem to understand that we do this for a living, while we adore our clients, we don’t love them. We may consider you friends once a trust is earned but many also have families and other obligations.

Being with an escort is like living in a small bubble of time. In this bubble, the escort molds a fantasy for you and that’s what it is, a fantasy. Reality and fantasy are 2 different things. She may be poised, pliant and submissive when you see her, she’s the perfect girlfriend. Well, of course she is! (For the amount of time specified)

In the end we all must part. A brief not here or there can be great but daily emails can seem a little strange, 4-5 emails a day? OK, now its time to put it in perspective. The biggest compliment you can give an escort is not to write her love notes, just see her again and tell her how much you enjoy her company.