Note: I did not write this but I loved it so much that I asked to borrow it from the author and she agreed. This was written by: Rae Harvey

Every so often, newcomers crop up who are so enamored with BDSM, so sure of their commitment to give their Owner everything, that they label themselves as having “no limits.” Before you decide to tell someone you have “no limits,” I want to offer some examples of various recognized kinks, fetishes and extreme sexual practices that you are giving tacit consent to engaging in when you state you have “no limits.”

* Beastiality/Zoophilia
* Coprophilia
* Emetophilia
* Necrophilia
* Formicophilia
* 2 Girls 1 Cup
* Acrotomophilia coupled with Apotemnophilia and wanting you to accommodate them.
* Avisodomy
* Vorarephilia – gives “I want to eat you” a whole new meaning.
* Symphorophilia
* Asphyxiophilia
* Erotophonophilia
* Branding
* Meatotomy
* Sexual Castration
* Any manner of body modifications
* Ophidicism

In other words, you are agreeing to subject yourself to anything on this list and all sorts of things you can’t even dream up yet. And I say “yet,” because invariably, those who claim to have “no limits” are brand spanking new s-types who are still caught up in the fantasy of Story of O, The Beauty Series, The Marketplace Series, Topping From Below and similar books – and really have no idea the depths to which some will stoop in pursuit of sexual gratification.

People do these things, all these things and more, in a sexual context all the time. And anyone who claims to have “no limits” is giving tacit agreement to all of them – amputating a limb for someone else’s pleasure, splitting their penis in two for someone else’s pleasure, even being murdered (snuff) for someone else’s pleasure. You’re saying you will happily let someone sit on your face and fart their little butts off, fill your mouth with their waste, subject yourself to gang bangs and glory holes, even prostitute yourself at their behest. You’re willing to be castrated, or alternatively to have your clit removed. You’re offering up your body in every way, shape and form for their pleasure – no matter the damage it does to you.

You do not expect ANY safety precautions to be taken, you don’t expect anesthesia, you don’t expect after care. You will agree to any medically dangerous practice, no matter how extreme, and expect nothing in return for your obedience.

You are agreeing to be dropped in an Oubliette somewhere, or locked up in a cage, only to be taken out for use. You do not expect to be fed, given medical attention, or ever permitted to be set free. You are agreeing to be used in whatever way someone else desires – and place no restrictions on how you are treated, what you are given, what is done to you or for you. You expect nothing in return for any of this, for allowing yourself to be used that way. You place absolutely no conditions on your relationship – you expect nothing, not monogamy, love, affection, attention, food, water, clothing, shelter, rewards, use of the internet, contact with family/friends, medical care, dental care. You are willing to give yourself to someone and receive literally nothing in return.

You are also agreeing to be ignored, or to have literally nothing done to you. Even to being completely vanilla again. Because no limits means doing anything and everything asked of you, without hesitation, without condition, without restriction.

This is what you are agreeing to when you claim to have “no limits.” If, after reading this thread, you still claim to have “no limits,” and feel comfortable agreeing to every single thing here, and anything else a mind can think up, please drop me a line with your name, address, phone number and a way to reach your next of kin.

And then print out a copy of this thread, go check yourself into the nearest psychiatric facility and hand them the print out while explaining that you are perfectly willing to subject yourself to all of this. Perhaps they’ll use shock therapy on you – you might enjoy that.

Disclaimer: Having “no limits” is not the same thing as having your Owner’s limits – that’s an entirely different discussion.

I absolutely recognize that my tone in this thread is a bit sharp, that this is not phrased in a friendly, conciliatory manner, that I probably sound mean, rude and arrogant. To 99% of you who will read this, I apologize. You are not the target audience.

I am desperately trying to reach that 1% who bleats to the masses that they have “no limits,” and then are shocked and surprised when they hook up with an individual who fully intends to exploit their naivete. There are predators in the world who use sites like this as a gateway to find young, impressionable men and women who they can exploit under the guise of BDSM and kink. This is Fetlife, not BDSMlife. It is a gathering place for people with fetishes, all sorts of fetishes, whether they fall specifically under the “typical” BDSM umbrella or not. People who are into the things I’ve mentioned in this thread are out there, they are members of sites like this, and they are waiting to get their hands on some “no limits” newbie who realizes too late, after they’re all tied up and alone with this person, that they did in fact have limits after all.

Only no one is going to be around to hear them scream.

I intend for this to be both harsh and dramatic – because I am hoping that doing so will make a few newcomers think twice about what they are potentially agreeing to when encountering other people with fetishes.

Please don’t tell people you have “no limits.” Everyone has limits, everyone has things they will not tolerate in a relationship – even if it’s nothing more than not being willing to tolerate being ignored for the rest of their life. If you would leave the relationship if your Owner never touched you, talked to you, held you, topped you, did anything to you or gave any thing to you – then you have a limit. Even if that’s the only one you think you have.

There are many different ways for escorts to screen their clients. Using references is one way that some determine whether a client is safe to see.

Now, this does not mean a reference from your brother, mom, boss, secretary or best friend. It means that you have seen an escort,FBSM, or BDSM provider in the recent past and they vouch that you are not an ax murderer, rapist, violent, or otherwise unsafe to see, you were a gentleman and they would see you again if you requested so.

Some ladies do not feel comfortable giving references at all, some won’t after a certain amount of time. For instance, I will not give a reference for you if we have not seen each other in over a year. People change and I don’t know what your MO is after that length of time. It also makes me worry that you are reaching back that far that you may have been a bad client in the meantime between seeing me and wanting to see the new escort.

When giving a reference, just a name is not going to cut it. You should provide an email address and website or advertisement for the girl you are using as a reference. Most ladies prefer email when being contacted about a reference than a phone number but if that is all you have then list that as well. Its also a great idea to give the lady a heads up that you are using her as a reference.

I usually try to keep my writings light and not rant, bitch or complain much but today I couldn’t help myself. I have received several emails with just a name and a phone number. Oh Yay! I utilize the “delete” button if not reply with a smart ass answer. Not only are they one line emails that have no personality to speak of, now the fools want me to call them. I know they didn’t care to read my website so if they don’t care to read, I don’t care to speak to them.

Why I hate the phone or my aversion to it:

1. Inappropriate Questions-I’m not going to talk about sex, acts, or money, so what else is there but to get screening info and talk about scheduling or where to meet for dinner?

2. Heavy Breathers-I’m just not very good at that whole phone sex stuff. I tried it in college and even then I got paid for it!

3. Being asked to describe myself- Now, this one kinda cracks me up. Didn’t they get the phone number from an ad or my website in the first place? I even had a few ask my stats, yes, they said stats. Ads are for advertising, I’m not about to go into some sales rap about myself. Some may see this as a missed opportunity but then again, those questions only lead to # 1 and #2 anyway.

4. Time is of the Essence There is nothing wrong with a friendly chat or getting know know someone for a few minutes but some people would literally try to keep me on the phone for over an hour. This just took up most of my time and I couldn’t get anything done! Some just like to waste time anyway and never book an appt.

5. I ask the questions here I can’t very well book an appt with no screening info. It says I screen on my ads, WTF?

So, in conclusion, I don’t post a phone number anymore. Its email only and I do give a private number out to those visiting me so they can call when they arrive. Its the first time inquiries that I don’t use the phone for.